Who Am I?
Its funny- so much of my life I have tried to be something other than who God defined me to be. In 5th grade, I dressed sporty, and tried so hard to play basketball (a game in which I lack any skill at all!). When I was in 6th grade, I wore really baggy clothes and listened to rap (funny because I lived in a rural southwestern farming town in Minnesota!).
In 8th grade, I went retro and grunge. I dressed in corduroy and pin striped pants, velvety-shirts, and listened to Pearl Jam and the like. Then I thought I could be sporty again- until I finally figured out that the only sport I enjoyed was Cross Country- but it wasn't for the running (I came in last at almost every meet!)...it was for the camaraderie between myself and my running partners.
There was a period of my life where I volunteered with many organizations and had truly found joy in my efforts. Its funny how quickly that joy disappears when I had stopped seeking to help others and became more worried about myself. My life quickly became self-absorbed and self-destructive.
In the book Drawing Near by John Bevere, he tells us that relationships we have had over the past 5 years shapes our current personality. We become more like our environment- we become what we seek. My story, and perhaps yours, supports that theory.
Now bring all that history (in the above paragraphs) full circle. Adult life has not been as peachy as I once dreamed it would be. In fact, I think others my age would agree that we experience so much more reality after we turn 18. Nevertheless, I have reverted back to my younger days. I started running again. I went a little overboard at first and thought I was an endurance trail runner- but I did it to help cope and escape from the hardships of my adult life. I recalled the camaraderie of my earlier days (and I got a few women- suckers!- to support and run with me) and I got to enjoy running with my earthly father again. But what has really helped my heart heal, is being able to spend time running and communicating with my Godly Father.
He has taught me so much in the little time I have afforded Him. He has taught me that who I am is not defined by this world. By this world, I am defined as a mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend, rangeland specialist, soil scientist, volunteer, bible study leader, student...the list goes on.
No matter the titles that I am granted here, the ultimate title, is my God-given one- I am a child of God-!
Isaiah 41: 8-20 reaffirms this. In highlight, He says 1) I am the called of the Lord, He has chosen me!, 2) I shall see the defeat of my enemy and, 3) I shall see the glory of the Lord!
I can rest peacefully with the wisdom of knowing I am a Child of God. This promise is not only for me, but it is for my husband, my children, and you! No matter the circumstance; health problems, financial distress, bad news or seasons of life- there is nothing too far from our God. For He says in Isaiah 41:13 "For I, Yahweh your God, hold your right hand and say to you, do not fear, I will help you". I have confidence in my designer, my deliverer, for I am a Child of God. I don't have to pretend to be something I am not by earthly design because all that matters is who I am in Christ.
No Longer Slaves, by Bethel, provides another perspective. We are longer slaves to fear, we are children of God!