I Choose Cupcakes
Dear friends - I would be lying if I told you haven't re-lived the events of this past weekend. Starting on Friday evening, I could recall the very moments of flying out of Jackson and into Salt Lake City- the lights of the airport, the ambulance driver (that had driven us once before), the nurses in the PICU. I would be lying if I told you that yesterday in church, I wasn't reliving the sermon preached a year ago last Sunday...that the first song we sang this Sunday was the prayer I constantly begged God for just a year ago...just a little more breath in her lungs...I would be lying if my heart didn't skip a beat at 2:47 this afternoon, just moments ago.
I would be lying if I told you Tessa didn't cross my mind at 2:47 pm today, as I remembered her last sighs, her last breath. The roller coaster of emotion. The weeping. The peace. The joy. The very presence of angels in that room with us. I would be lying if I told you I was numb to it all as I remembered Tessa taking the hand of Jesus on February 4th, 2018.
These moments are etched in my brain. But they do not overrule the moments where Tessa shined. Where she made every moment count here on Earth. These last moments were sacred because it is the one place where I know that I know that I know Christ was there with our family. His very arms holding us.
Tessa lived a life of significance, just simply by being. She didn't have to say a word to change the hearts of men. Her hand print, her fingerprints, held a special pattern that no other person will replicate. No other person has been given the purpose and destiny that Tessa had (and continues to have here). No other person, for that matter, can replicate your purpose and destiny either.
The world wants me to be swallowed up in grief, to stay bound by the moments of letting go...the moments of grief and sadness...to cry and be covered in darkness. There is certainly a force out there that would love to see me and my family chained by the "I wish I would have's" and "What if we would have made that call differently".
But I say "NO". Not Today. Today I choose cupcakes. I choose to celebrate Tessa's life instead of grieve it. I refuse to mourn over her death, because I know that she is surrounded by the ultimate freedom and life. She is today, where my spirit longs to be.
So celebrate with me Tessa's existence. Let's celebrate the harvest of her life.
*Over 600 people were in attendance for Tessa's Celebration last February. In the words of Pastor Mike, "Tessa never spoke a word, and yet you are all here".
*Daddy got baptized.
*Noel still puts money in Tessa's piggy bank.
*Megan, one of Tessa's care providers, changed her major to Occupational Therapy because of Tessa.
*We partnered with Just Do What Matters to build a fund where we can help support quality of life for other kiddos called Tessa's Triumph Mobility Want to add a caption to this image? Click the Settings icon. Fund.
*In that partnering with Just Do What Matters, Tessa's story was shared with 50 lucky barrel racers at this year's annual fundraiser in Arizona...Tessa's Testimony is now in book form to share the light of Christ through her existence.
*Over 3000 people have viewed Tessa's Triumph and Bruised Reed, receiving the Word and basking in the light of Tessa's life.
*The sharing of Tessa's life through speaking engagements at women's retreats.
Just one little girl with a "smile that could bring Goliath down", living a hometown of less than 100 residents. That's all it takes for God to change the hearts of men. If God can work through Tessa, God can work through you.
Let's choose cupcakes.